Foundations
What the Fight Is Really About
Most arguments are not about the dishes, the text message, or the money. They are about a need that went unmet and unnamed.
Find out what the fight was really about.
The Wiseguide Conflict Compass reads a conversation that went sideways, names the core social needs driving each person, shows the pattern you two keep repeating, and hands you a printable report with better ways to say the same thing.
The 6 Core Social Needs
Chase Hughes' framework, used as the spine of every report — then cross-checked against Tony Robbins' Six Human Needs.
- BelongingFeeling included, accepted, part of a unit
- SignificanceFeeling valued, important, seen
- CompetenceFeeling capable, effective, respected for skill
- Security / PredictabilityFeeling safe, stable, in control
- ConnectionEmotional closeness, empathy, being understood
- Approval / AcceptanceFeeling liked, validated, not judged
Robbins cross-map: Certainty · Variety / Uncertainty · Significance · Love / Connection · Growth · Contribution
Decoder
Paste, upload, or build a conversation and get a Needs Signal Report you can print.
Articles
Why couples fight the way they do, and what the frameworks actually say.
Guides
Timed exercises: repair conversations, check-ins, cooling down without shutting down.
Discussions
Prompts by need, plus ground rules that keep a hard talk from becoming a fight.
Latest articles
All articles →Frameworks
Hughes vs. Robbins: Two Maps of the Same Territory
The 6 Core Social Needs and the Six Human Needs overlap, but they answer different questions. Using both gives you depth and direction.
Patterns
Four Patterns That End Conversations Early
Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and score-keeping each block a specific need. Here is what each one costs and what replaces it.
Guides to run tonight
All guides →20 minutes
The 20-Minute Repair Conversation
A timed, structured way to reopen a fight that ended badly — without restarting it.
45 minutes
Decode Your Recurring Fight
Use the decoder on the argument you keep having, and turn the report into a standing agreement.
Want a person, not just a report?
Coaching sessions take the report further — live decoding, a protocol for your recurring loop, and language you both agree to use.
See coaching options